Yesterday I celebrated my first year of sobriety. Going a year without alcohol has been tough. I turned down so many offers of 1942 being poured down my throat.

I was tempted, but what gave me the courage to say “no” and choose sparkling water every time someone offered me a drink, was remembering how far I’ve come. And valuing the health and clarity I have today.

My body literally broke down when I was drinking. But that breakdown (mental and physical) allowed me to heal and turn my pain into the breakthrough I needed for my life, business and relationships.

I’ve been on this no-alcohol journey for more than 4 years. I’ve had times when I went several months without drinking, but I always found an excuse to justify why a drink would be okay.

By now, you’re probably assuming that I’m an alcoholic. Fair. But I’m not.

I considered myself “pre-alcoholic.” Which means I didn’t drink enough that it became a chemical that my body relied on, but I drank enough to regret what I did the next day and feel like shit in the morning.

I’m an extremist. So for me it’s go hard. Or what’s the point? I would agree to a social drink and before I knew it, I was 4 in.

It became such a habit, that I wasn’t just drinking in times of celebration and friends. I was turning to Tito, Don, and Johnnie whenever I felt uncomfortable.

Bored. Drink!

Confused. Drink!

Frustrated. Drink!

Overwhelmed. Drink!

You get the point. Any heavy emotion was an excuse to escape the discomfort.

If this drinking pattern sounds familiar to you… you might just be a fellow pre-alcoholic too.

While we can temporarily escape our reality through a few Titos on the rocks, we don’t actually get rid of the pain and energy that comes with it.

We bury it deeper until it becomes trapped inside of us and manifests into physical pain & sickness and experiences that match that energy.

Then we act confused when anxiety and gut health issues creep up on us. Well…it’s because we’re trying not to feel all the things we’re MEANT to feel.

Our emotions are chemical feedback of or thoughts. They exist for us to use them as a guidance tool to decide what’s for us and what’s not for us.

When we attempt to numb them with substances and other unhealthy habits, we prevent ourselves from moving the energy in our body and shifting it into something that helps us rather than hurt us.

My decision to stop drinking is allowing me to fully sit with my emotions and process them in a healthy way. I’ve learned to be more patient with myself and others during the process. I’m continuing to turn my wounds into wisdom and the chaos into clarity.

To anyone that has stopped drinking, is trying to stop drinking or even considering sobriety; I raise my wine glass filled with Pellegrino and fresh lime, to you.

Joyfully,

Ash